Tonight my best friend’s 5yo cousin told me she was going to marry me without a hint of uncertainty in her voice. How precious is that?
It’s a sort of rash boldness, a sort of certainty that we lose as we get older. With each coming year we become more bashful. More shy. The straight talking occurrances become few and far between and that is disappointing. It’s almost like becoming more aware of things – such as consequences – becomes more detrimental in relation to our lifestyle.
On the other hand, I felt a sort of peace tonight. Whilst I was in a taxi drinking a beer on my way to my friends house for New Years Eve, I felt contented. Honestly. Thoughts of the entire year raced through my head and I was at peace with everything.
‘Open your eyes, look within.
Are you happy with the life you’re living?’ – Bob Marley
At the start of the year I wrote a post titled the boy who began to grow up, which reviewed my 2014 and outlined what I hoped to achieve by the time 2015 came to a close.
The focus for 2015 was to forge an environment in which I could reclaim my life as my own, creating a plethora of stories and memories along the way. This is something I truly believe I have managed to achieve. I would argue that 2014 provided me with a disjointed roller-coaster ride, replaced by a 2015 which – for the most part – was relatively smooth-sailing and ended with a trip of a lifetime.
“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting” – Buddha
Over the course of the past twelve months, a lot of things have changed. One of these was learning to accept the mistakes I made rather than dwell on them. Why? Well I fully buy into the theory that mistakes are what help us grow. By learning from them we know what not to do in the future. In turn, we develop and improve ourselves.
For example, I made a mistake in deciding to cut myself off from everyone I knew back home when I first went to University – even though at the time I felt it necessary – and it’s something that I truly regret [to anyone from MK that is reading this and thought I treated them badly, I apologise]. The result? I am now much more appreciative of the friends I have.
“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner” – Tallulah Bankhead
Thing is, every now and then something will crop up in the back of my mind. Something like “I regret not going to the party” or “Why didn’t I take a chance when it was available” and even them simple “I should have said yes”. For ages I considered these mistakes but I didn’t learn anything from them, not really. These regrets are my missed opportunities, and once you miss an opportunity you can’t have it again. They are a one time thing.